Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
