My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
