So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
