mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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