i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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