the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
