last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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