i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
