saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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