Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
