I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My liver just broke up with me...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
