Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
