The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
