rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize