Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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