bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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