tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
we're making bets on your personal life
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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