if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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