this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
