she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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