This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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