I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
