Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
