Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
