think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
