i was rollin on her like bob the builder
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
