The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
