You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We talked him into tasing himself.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
