My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
