no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
