I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
