i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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