planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
