I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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