Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
