:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
