All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
