hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she smelled like a LAN party
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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