have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
