Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
