what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
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