Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
