What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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