We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
my poor anus
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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