We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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