You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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