why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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