The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
