i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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