I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
